Fact: we all need love. My way of receiving love is to try to initiate it and then wait for it to be reciprocated. The practice of keeping a smile on my face, posting encouraging pictures and quotes on social media and sharing my resources and talents with those who I come in contact is very rewarding. However, lately life has been pretty rough for me. The circumstances in which I find myself are weighing heavily on me. I still muster the energy and courage to perform my daily "duties" however, I am aching to receive a little of it back. The thing is, almost nobody knows what I am going through. People can tell that I am not myself, but they have their own lives to live. I don't want to be "that person" who shouts every aspect of their life to the whole world. That isn't me...so I do my best to be myself. Instead, I keep my emotions in check using various coping skills or so I think. I am sure my husband, sons and those closest to me would argue that I lose it regularly. Not that there's anything wrong with that. When I am alone, I spend as much time with God as possible so that he can do the work in me that will allow me to heal. He has been faithful to me in more ways than I realize. Meanwhile, the human side of me conflicts with the growth that is occurring inside and spills out all over those in my vicinity. Sorry...I'm trying, but I am only human.
Summer is about half over and I have a lot of work to do before the school years starts up again. Most of it is a by product of those circumstances which I eluded to earlier. If you want to help, this is me asking you to send some love my way. You see, I realize it's impossible for you to love me because I don't let you know what I'm feeling. It's impossible for you to read my mind. It's impossible for you get past my guard. It's impossible for you to know what I need when I hide it from you. It's impossible for you to love me any other way.
