Recap

2011 is ending tonight. Last year we had a house party and invited the Schweningers and the boys' friends. Tonight we will be bowling with some of the boys' friends and ringing in the 2012 sober. That's no problem, 2011 was a big party and tonight will be no different. 


Last year started with a shock, when I got a call from my cousin saying my Uncle Ray had passed away early on New Year's Day. Uncle Ray was every one's favorite uncle. I remember how it felt talking to my sisters and brother about him. We each had our own special memories and shared them with each other. Since I am the only one that is local, my family represented the Isen kids at his funeral. It was a beautiful celebration of his life. Unfortunately, it was the first of many I would attend in 2011, including Jonathon Haertel, Denise Lear, William Bornhuetter, and LeRoy Pautsch. Each of these deaths affected me....some inspired me, some depressed me and others affirmed that I had made some good choices this year. 


This year was also the year of Packermania, Buckymania and Brewermania. If you don't live in Wisconsin, you have no idea how intense we are about our sports. We enjoyed a Superbowl win for the Packers, a Rose Bowl berth for the Badgers (I hate TCU), and a Central Division title for the Brewers (Albert Pujols and Tony LeRusa are the devil!) Locally we enjoyed the Bradford football team going undefeated to win the Div. 1 State Championship, and The Rizz, J-Krew, Dani and Kenj each qualified for the State Cross Country meet. What better reason to party than celebrating some sort of sports accomplishment? We did! 


I got special time with friends and family this year too. Both my sisters came to Wisconsin and I went to Summerfest, Chicago and spent the Fourth of July with the Rogers. I also went to Summerfest with Chris. Chris and I spent a fantabulous night and day in Waterford together. Sue Won and I spent a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious day/night together in Appleton. Phyllis and I went to Madison to watch the Bradford Softball team compete at State. Good times were had with Tara, Cori, Sue, Anita, Norma, Tori, Barb, Deb, Cindy and many, many more. I just got home from 3 days with my parents. What a GREAT visit filled with music, food, drink, puzzles and relaxation. I am very blessed to have such terrific family and friends. 


Then there are the three men that are closest to me. Mike and I celebrated 20 years married in 2011. Our relationship is aggravating, strong, fun, and passionate. My boys are seniors in high school this year. They turn 18 next week and they still will cuddle in bed with me. Some of my favorite memories this year come from giving Mikey a ride to school and lunches with Frank. My twins are developing into spectacular young men. HOLY CRAP! 


Speaking of holy; I grew spiritually too. I changed some priorities around and my life is much more fulfilling and peaceful. I started writing this blog and I have discovered a few things about myself that cause me to look forward to 2012 with excitement. I am still dealing with some negative feelings, but I am equipped with some new tools that help me cope in a much healthier way than before. 


May the new year be filled with love, happiness and peace. 


Cheers to 2011 and here's to 2012! 

First after Fifteen

This is my fifteenth school year driving bus and I would like to think that I have experienced just about everything there is to experience in the job. After all, I have been in 4 collisions, driven into the ditch, gotten lost, been yelled at, cussed at, threatened, stolen from, kicked, punched, scratched, spit on, had my hair pulled, been puked on, bled on, and even had one woman accuse me of choking her daughter (total bullshit!) I really believe that there are not a lot of firsts left for me to experience in my job any longer. I am happy to share, that today, I had a first. 


Each time we get into the bus, we have to do a check of it called a pre-trip inspection. This inspection consists of checking the lights, doors, windows, electronics, wheels, brakes and pretty much everything you can think of on the bus. I should note here that my bus is pretty much brand new. No one besides me has ever driven it regularly and I know it really well. As I was checking the outside of the bus, I noticed some fluid had collected on the bottom of the rim of the front driver's side wheel. My experience is that this is one of two things; water or brake fluid. I stuck my finger in the fluid and ran it along the rim. It's black not red, a good sign. I entered the bus and tested the E brake and the service brake. I held that pedal down 3 or 4 times for the count of ten. No give...a very good sign, but it's still a good idea to take the bus to the technicians to check it out. 


I need to pause here to explain that I have a monitor that rides with me during this route. LaToya and I have a great time working together and she is one of the best listeners I have ever met. Good thing, because I LOVE to talk! I explained to LaToya that we had to stop at the garage to make sure the bus doesn't have a brake fluid leak. I showed her the big black smudge on my index finger. 


We have really great mechanics/technicians at our terminal. They are never condescending to me and usually will take the time to explain why the bus is doing what it is doing. They have even taken time to help a lot of people including me with their personal vehicles. In the garage, Ron, a tech I hardly know came to help me. I told him I needed to make sure that brake fluid wasn't leaking from my wheel. I showed him my black finger and we went out to take a look at the bus. The wet spot was now on the top of the wheel. He took out his flash light and took a quick look at the wheel. He got a big smile on his face and said "You're fine, that's not brake fluid. It's an animal." I said "What?" He said "An animal peed on the wheel, you're fine." 


Thanks a lot Ron! I had who knows what kind of animal urine on my finger. Really, you couldn't have lied to me and said it was water and road grime? I got in the bus and told LaToya that we were safe, but that I needed my Clorox wipes and the anti-bacterial ASAP! I bet she is still laughing her ass off. Well, Happy Friday everybody  :P

Firewood

I realized recently that most people fit into two categories....kindling and cord wood. I am definitely kindling. I take fire quickly, I burn hot and fast and my flame is easily extinguished. Cord wood takes time to catch fire, it burns long and fast and it difficult to put out. Fortunately, I have surrounded myself with cord wood. I have some other kindling in my life too and when we get together it usually means things are going to be VERY interesting. 

There are many areas in my life where I have burned hot and fast. There are friendships like Spring, Dianne, Tammy and Marty. My professional life from college, to working in the factories, to Domino's to working for the Kenosha School Bus Drivers Union is full of fast hot burning tinder. My love life only really has two relationships that lasted more than a couple weeks. I love to start a diet and exercise program and when I do, I am usually pretty successful at it. Eventually, I stop being consistent and go back to my normal not so healthy routines. Currently in the most important areas in my life I have cord wood to keep me burning. 

My most trusted cord wood is my husband, Mike. I may be the reason our fire started, but he is the reason it is still burning. He guided us through a long distance relationship, a move 2000 miles away from our families, and the rough spots in our marriage. Mike helps me in other areas of my life too, like diet and exercise and relationships. I love Mike with all my heart and I am blessed he is slow and long burning. 

In my professional life my cord wood is the children on my bus. Even in this area, I choose to keep things short and hot. I usually make it a point to drive different students/routes each year. It isn't that I don't enjoy the kids or the schools I drive, but it is very important to me to have change in my life. There is one student in particular that I drove many years in a row. Justin and I got so dependent on each other that he almost wouldn't get on a bus unless I was driving it. I got so close to him, I took him for ice cream and gave him pictures of me (with his parents permission of course.) I started driving him in preschool and he is now in 8th grade. I haven't driven him for a few years, but I still see him. He still makes my heart skip a  beat and he always gives me a big hug. I am happy to be able to watch him grow up, even though it is at a distance.  I can't let my fire for Justin or for driving the bus burn out. They are both integral to my happiness. 

In my friendships, my greatest piece of cord wood is Shiela. She has a way of seeing the way I feel about things and reflecting them back to me before I let them burn out. Shiela and her family moved to Georgia a year ago....1000 miles away. It sucks! I miss her regular presence in my life. I miss the way she could touch my skin or my heart with just a slight stroke or a quick glance. I miss her as my walking partner, my conscience and my reality check. I don't miss her friendship though, 1000 miles can't take that away. She came to visit in September and it was as if she never left. I felt immediate calm and normalcy. In order to keep close to each other she and I have started a plan to walk to talk to each other. She knew she needed me to get her fire started to exercise and I knew I needed her to calm my fire down before I burned out. Thank God we figured it out! 

A few weeks ago Mike and I went to dinner with my parents. The conversation got around to religion and my dad asked me how far I was going to go with it. At first I thought he asked it because he wants me to fulfill some grand potential in my life. When I worked at Domino's he was so happy when I became a manager. When I worked for the union, he kept saying how he wished I would go into politics. So I wonder if he thinks I should become a minister. Well, that is probably not going to happen. My answer to him is that my ministry is my kids on my bus, and the kids at church. My ministry is my boys and their friends. My ministry is all the people I come into contact with that watch the way I live my life, not perfect, but with a purpose. My ministry is this blog. I don't need to stand before a congregation on Sunday morning. I do it daily. By the way, Jesus is my cord wood for my spirituality. I pray He doesn't let that fire burn out. 

Charity

I have been thinking about writing this one for quite awhile. It seems timely with the holiday season approaching. Charity is an interesting subject to me. It has two sides and depending on your personality and which side you are on, you can accept it. 


I have been on the receiving end of charity many times. For example, Mike and I have gotten so much from our families that sometimes it is overwhelming. Without the help of our parents and siblings we would not have the furniture we have, a new roof over our head, or many of the clothes my boys wore growing up. Thanks to her generosity we were able to visit Chicago last summer with my sister, Kim and her family. We are able to visit my parents regularly knowing we will always have a comfortable bed, a place to relax and not have to pay to eat out. My parents even helped me get to Florida a few years ago to visit my sister Shari during spring break. It was a great trip!


Accepting these gifts is difficult for me. I want to be the one that gives more than I receive. Our families always say we deserve it and that they are happy to do it for us. Believe me, we appreciate it! It's just that it's too much sometimes. I have learned to accept these gifts as they are given.....graciously. That's not easy, but necessary. 


My boys regularly shovel the sidewalk for an elderly woman across the street. Sometimes she insists on paying them for it. We have taught them to try not to accept any payment for this service. It's not that she can't afford it, it's that we want them to do something for someone else without any payment. They accept the money occasionally and it makes both sides feel better about it. 


Recently, I went to dinner and drinks with a couple friends. It was pay back for a time when I had treated them to dinner last summer. I didn't have to pay a penny all night long. That was tough for me to accept. I made up for it by being the driver for the night. We had a terrific time together and I am happy I got over my hang up and allowed them to take me out. 


Sometimes you have to put your ego aside and let someone else do something nice for you. There's no shame in letting someone buy you dinner when you can't afford it. There is no problem letting your family help you out when times are tough. They do it because they love you. They will only do what they can. All they expect in return is gratitude. Why is it so hard to accept other people's help for some of us? Especially those that really NEED it! 


Then there is the other side of charity. The side of those that have a lot and are not generous. Sometimes I feel like those that have more, give less and those that have less, give more. There are definite exceptions to that statement, but I think in general it is true. Funny thing is that those people will usually receive without thinking twice about it. Just sayin'