Mechanisms

This year for Thanksgiving we are hosting my in-laws. The truth is, I hate hosting. It takes me out of my comfort zone, but Mike wants to do it, so we are. Like most people, when I get anxious, I activate my coping mechanisms. Lately, I have had to do this a LOT! Here are some ways I cope with anxiety and other negative feelings. 


There are two extreme mechanisms that I use to cope with negative feelings. They are pretty opposite of each other. The first is to throw up a wall of happiness and spread some joy. This usually causes the volume of my life to be turned way up. The volume goes up on my music, my voice, my laughter, and scarily enough my accelerator foot. I go out of my way to try to make others feel better while inside I can barely breathe, I am crying, shouting, screaming and I feel nauseated. I like this mechanism but it has one draw back. It gets a bit obnoxious. The other is to close completely inside myself and be still and quiet. I read, do puzzles, sleep, watch TV or play mind numbing video games. I stop communicating with my loved ones and I usually neglect my responsibilities. It is quiet and reflective but sometimes I spend too much time there and I miss out on time with my family and friends. 


Finding a happy medium between these two mechanisms is important. One way to ensure that I do that is to go to church. I know, you don't want to hear it, but keep reading...it's not what you think. There are many different kinds of church because a church isn't a building, it's a community. My communities are my family, my friends, my online friends, serving at church service, but most of all, it's the students I transport. I can't tell you how many times I have been crying as I pulled up to a house or a school and one of my students or teachers immediately does something to cheer me up. Just a couple weeks ago, I was withdrawing into myself when I got to one of my schools in the afternoon. The teacher came to the bus rambling about "Where's Sue, how come Sue isn't here, Where's Sue's bus, Sue is late......." I thought she was losing it! Then I thought she was mimicking one of the students. In reality she was mocking another teacher. HILARIOUS! I cracked up and I made it through the rest of the day with a smile on my face. I probably have 1000 stories like that. When I started driving bus, my dad said I had found my calling. I never understood what he meant by that until recently. 


So what is your church? What are your mechanisms? Hopefully they work for you and are positive. 


Happy Thanksgiving